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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Podcast For Friday’s Show 12-10-10

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Missy Under The Christmas Tree

Miss under the tree

First Snow Of the Year

snow

My Funniest Real Live Christmas Story

Back in ‘85, my Mom won a trip to the Bahamas from her work.  It was scheduled for the Christmas/New Year’s holiday.  So, Mom and Dad got on the plane and headed to Miami to get to the cruise ship.  During the flight, Dad found out he wasn’t much of a flyer, and freaked out.  Well, they got to the ship and had a great time on the cruise, but when it was time to head back home, Dad wanted nothing to do with flying. So they decided to rent a car.However, since it was New year’s there were no cars in Miami to rent, all they could find was a U-haul truck.  So they drove that all the way back to Virginia.  Meanwhile, my Christmas that year was mostly a bust, because I had to stay at my Sister’s in West Va where we live now.  It was totally boring, because a few days before Thanksgiving, Moorefield had flooded, wiping out most of the town, and there wasn’t much to do.  Whenever I need a laugh, I think back to the whole thing.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

My Christmas List

Christmas is 2 weeks away, here’s some things you can get me

1: A new VCR/DVD recorder combo

2: A couple packs of double layer recordable DVDs

3:  Any good ship or plane model

4: Clothes

5: Any good books

6: All 3 seasons of In Plain Sight on DVD

7: And of course, that old standby, money!

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Podcast for Wednesday’s Show 12-8-10

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Disrespect for our Fallen Soldiers and a Classy Woman

It is disgusting what Fred Phelps and his crew are doing!  He is the so called pastor of a church in Kansas who goes around picketing the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. These “Christians” say that its God’s revenge for the US accepting gays.  And they are also planning on picketing Elizabeth Edward’s funeral. Damn, let the poor lady rest in peace, after what she went through!  I’m a fan of freedom of speech, but have a little compassion!

Christmas Tree 2010

tree 2010

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Thank You For Those Forwards!

As we approach the end of another month - I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
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>         I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
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>         I can't use the remote in a hotel room  because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
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>         I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread  because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed..hmmmm bedbugs maybe! 
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>         I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.
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>         Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip  because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
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>         I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
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>         I MUST ALSO SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS  to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
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>         ALSO,  now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
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>         I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.
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>         I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates / Microsoft and
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>         AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. 
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>         I no longer worry about my soul  because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
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>         I can't have a drink in a bar because I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.
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>         I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
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>         I can't use cancer-causing deodorants  even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
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>         THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
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>         BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
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>         I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
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>         I no longer drink Pepsi or Fanta  since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
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>         I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.
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>         AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face.. Disfiguring me for life.
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>         I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down
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>         I no longer go to shopping malls  because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
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>         I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex  since they are actually Al Qaeda agents in disguise. And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan 
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>         I no longer buy cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe.
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>         THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my ass.
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>         AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE  I can't ever pick up a Toonie (what is a toonie? JoAn)  dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over..
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>         I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies supports Al Qaeda, and buying gas from all the others supports South American dictators.
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>         I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.
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>         If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician . . .
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>         Oh, by the way.....
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>         A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
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>         Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. 
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>         PS:  I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.
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>         Outside of that everything is OK SO DON'T BUNCH UP!!
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Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Second Chances

This year in sports, there have been 2 shining examples of people making the most of  a second chance.  Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton missed 2 years in the middle of the decade due to drug and Alcohol abuse, and came back with a tremendous season last season, and was named the American League MVP.  In Football, Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback Michael Vick spent 18 months in Federal prison for dog fighting,  has become a model citizen, and in having a monster season.  The moral of this story is no one is beyond redemption, and we need to be a bit more forgiving, both public figures, and friends and family in our own lives.