Damn I'm Clumsy

I have got to be the most clumsiest person in the world! Last week, in the same day, I was sitting in a chair, moved, and all the sudden I hear this creaking sound, the chair splinters into a million little pieces, and I end up on the floor! A couple of hours later, I go to put my window down, the window goes off track, and lands right across my wrists! So.... right now, my feet and wrists are a mass of bruises! Sheeesh!